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September 19, 2009
Review - " Jennifer's Body "  -  (in theaters) By Roland Hansen
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Megan Fox - Jennifer's Body
that girl we all knew in high school - gorgeous, but not unrealistic. Bitchy, but not made of stone. Like Mean Girls' Regina
George, every girl wants to be friends with Jennifer, though her nerdy BFF Needy gets most of her attention. Jennifer and her
cropped hoodies are the object of desire of most of the guys at school, and even Needy is kinda obsessed with her in a sexual

The film opens with Needy (Amanda Seyfried) locked up in a mental institution and providing a voice-over of “how things
weren't always like this” and “We used to be normal.”  We then go back to a magical time when she was a dorky teenager with
a cute boyfriend (Johnny Simmons) and Jennifer Check (Fox), the hottest girl in school and Needy’s life-long friend.  The film
rushes through this relationship as we get a quick flashback of their eternal “sandbox love” and load up on Jennifer spouting
Cody-slang like calling female horniness “getting a wetty” and calling attractive boys “salty”.

After we've learned that Needy is basically Jennifer’s conservative-yet-protective sidekick and Jennifer is over-confident and
gets by on her looks, the movie thinks it’s ready to run out and have some fun but it’s already a mess.  The rushed
introduction undermines the rest of the movie as we don’t understand Jennifer and Needy beyond these broad character traits
and their relationship lacks complexity.  Also, while it’s believable that Needy would only have one friend, it’s a bit of a stretch
to believe that Jennifer wouldn’t have dropped Needy by middle school and have a clique of other pretty girls following her
around.  Sandbox-love is strong but high school insecurity trumps all.

With these vague outlines
barely established, Jennifer
drags Needy to the bar
“Melody Lane” so they can see
the band “Low Shoulder”
because Jennifer looked at
their MySpace page and thinks
the lead singer (Adam Brody)
is hot.  The only problem is
that Low Shoulder worships
Satan and after setting the bar
on fire and killing most of its
highly-flammable patrons,
they’re able to lure a
shell-shocked Jennifer into
their van and take her off into
the woods while Needy looks
on helplessly.

Later that night, as Needy is
walking through her unlit house
(even though the electricity
works fine so she could just
turn on a light), she’s terrified by a blood-drenched Jennifer who proceeds to devour a Boston Market roasted chicken before
vomiting black, spikey sludge across Needy’s kitchen and then racing out into the night (I'm not sure if this is the kind of
product placement Boston Market really wants)

As it turns out, it’s not so much digestive problems brought on by Boston Market roasted chickens as it is that Jennifer is now a
demon.  Needy is the only one who sees her friend’s transformation and no one in the town has any explanation for why
teenage boys are getting ripped to shreds.  Meanwhile, Low Shoulder and their awful music begin a meteoric rise after the fire
at Melody Lane and they provide the film’s funniest moments and inadvertently demonstrate the film’s key failure.

Cody’s sharpest commentary is reserved for bands like Low Shoulder, an indie band whose greatest aspiration is to be the
next “Maroon 5?.  The film absolutely nails this kind of bland “indie rock” music that fills the airwaves and we learn more about
the main characters more through their taste in music than by their actions.

As for the performances, Seyfried is the one to watch. She's a skilled combination of mousy, emotional and not-so-secretly in
lust with Jennifer - there's a brief "Cruel Intentions"-esque makeout scene to prove it - despite her bond with boyfriend Chip
(Johnny Simmons, who brings a needed level of humanity to the movie). Fox is rather voluptuous, even with her ice-queen
bitch vibe, and "Jennifer's Body" is a perfect outlet for her limited talent. But the thought of her using an accent and appearing
in a serious drama is almost as funny as one of the characters assuming she is a virgin. Yeahhh.

I also really liked Johnny Simmons as Needy's boyfriend Chase, and Kyle Gallner as one of the students who has his eye on
Jennifer. After seeing so many movies centered around misogynistic high school boys, it's refreshing to see the roles reversed
for a change as Jennifer is the one preying on the unsuspecting, innocent guys.

The bottom line: this isn't the worst move you'll ever see, but don't expect greatness. If you're interested enough to shell out
ten bucks for a ticket, you probably won't be disappointed - but I don't think you'll regret waiting for the DVD either.

will have to walk out of "Jennifer's Body". In spite of the much publicized nude photo's of Megan Fox during the shooting of
the film. The scene in question appears to be much edited and there is no nudity in the movie at all (which is somewhat of a
rarity for high school slasher flix).
Megan Fox & Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer's Body
Megan Fox hovers over the pool in Jennifer's Body
Jennifer's Body
Directed By: Maryn Kusama
Starring: Megan Fox, Megan Fox's
body, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny
Simmons, Adam Brody, Kyle Gallner

The first thing you should know about
Jennifer's Body is that this movie is
not terrifying. Yes, there's a bit of
gore and a few cringe-worthy
moments (like when Jennifer smiles
through a mouthful of blood), but the
scariest parts are given away in the
trailer. It's more of a high school
comedy than a slasher flick, and you
can see the transitions from funny to
freaky coming a mile away.

Diablo Cody ('Juno' scribe) sets the
scene in Devil's Kettle, a small town
that rarely sees a scandal worthy of
its name. As Jennifer, Megan Fox is