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June 19, 2010
Review - " Jonah Hex "  -  (in theaters) By Roland Hansen
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Jonah Hex
Directed by: Jimmy Hayward
Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael
Fassbender, Will Arnett, John Gallagher Jr., Tom Wopat, Michael
Shannon, Wes Bentley.


Josh Brolin stars a Jonah Hex, a disfigured confederate soldier turned
bounty hunter out to avenge his family’s death by killing his former
commanding officer, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich).  Aside from
being really good at killing people, Hex also has the ability to
communicate with the dead.  Contracted by the U.S. Government, Hex
is tasked with stopping Turnbull before the “terrorista” (as the
Mexicans call him) uses a super weapon to destroy Washington D.C.
on the centennial.  Hex also has what would technically qualify as a
romantic relationship with a prostitute (played by Megan Fox), but they’
re probably on screen together for less than ten minutes.  Unlike the
fun talking-with-dead-folks aspect, the relationship with Fox’s character
feels perfunctory.  Hex has wilder elements worth exploring, but it’s
constantly dragged down by tired Hollywood conventions.

Strangely enough, for a movie rushing to get to the finish line, Jonah
Hex doesn’t have much energy.  The film never drags, but it rarely
seems to be having as much fun as it should.  Brolin acquits himself
well and Michael Fassbender steals the entire movie playing Turnbull’s
chief henchman.  When the film gets outlandish, it gets fun.  It’s fun
that Hex has crossbow-guns that fire dynamite.  It’s fun that Hex talks to
the dead like it’s no big deal.  But most of the time, the film is trying to
be a standard blockbuster. Hex, depsite its modest budget, has the
scale of a big action movie, but no one’s going to mistake it for one.  It's too brief, too colorless, and doesn’t know what kind
of movie it wants to be.

Megan Fox is pretty to look at and acquits herself well enough in some of the action sequences but doesn't really give us any
acting. All her scenes appear to have been filmed in soft focus or were digitally enhanced to a point where she ends up
looking liek a plastic barbie doll. Fox is already one of the most beautiful omen in Hollywood, she doesn't need CGI to make
her look pretty.

The problem with Jonah Hex isn’t necessarily
that it’s not long enough.  It’s problem is that
it’s not enough, period.  There’s not enough
laughs, not enough thrills, not enough
confidence, and not enough fun.  Brolin,
Fassbender, and some of the more clever
designs stop the movie from being a total wash,
but the completed picture is as mangled as its
protagonist’s face.

It’s a bloody, angry revenge flick that doesn’t
have any blood and is trying to manage its
anger.  The result is an uneven film that never
feels true to itself and does the bare minimum
in order to get by. I was going to give Jonah
Hex 1 1/2 stars but it really wasn't quite that
bad. It really is just a so-so movie.
Megan Fox from Jonah Hex is certainly worth looking at